Black Men White Women: 8 Reasons Sisters Push Bros to Pink Toes Part I

Aug 28, 2011 by Black Statham

I see so many interracial couples on a daily basis that I rarely even take a second glance in the couple’s general direction. I mean don’t get me wrong depending on where you live, people of both races may still feel some kind of way about single black men and white women together. And there is one segment of society that still has an almost visceral reaction to seeing an eligible brother dating a Becky, and that of course would be our single black sisters.

When a sister spots a black man with a white woman, she’s likely to pull out her book of descriptive adjectives labeling the brother as weak, a sellout, or unable to deal with a strong willful sister. However we know that the reasons that men and women find certain types of the opposite sex attractive are never that cut and dry, or black and white. In such quick labeling also fails to take into account the role that the accuser has in influencing the choices that a man will make him picking his potential mate.

So I was chilling out with the Hon. Dr. Royce Brothers sipping a little something vintage, we started talking about the reasons black men choose white women and decided to break it up into a two-part series, which will provide all interested parties with a look into the psyche of interracial dating from the black male perspective.

1.       Approachability:  From Frown To Scowl

I mean it’s sad to say and many women will disagree with me on this point, but no one wears a frown quite like a black woman in any public setting. Either the lips are poked out or pursed so tight that you could crush atoms with them things. And understand that there is a level of defensiveness that’s necessary in dealing with brothers that are let’s say less than mature.

Now on the other hand white women are totally different ballgame, easy to have conversation with and rarely assuming that because you say hi to them you’re trying hit those draws. No man wants to approach a woman who looks as if she’s dreading the first word coming out of your mouth. There are times is a single black man that you would rather try to sell Kirby vacuum cleaners door-to-door, then approach a sister in any social situation.

2.       Black Men Ain’t Sh*t!

Why women who are interested in black men seem to approach a potential relationship with a clean slate. What exactly do I mean by this? It’s simple, white women were raised to believe that “black men ain’t sh*t” in regards to how they perform their life duties as a man.

Black women grow up witnessing the failures and shortcomings of fathers who come and go, unhealthy relationships that their elders may go through, all of which create a master image of what a black man is. Undoubtedly this is a hard thing to shake as you enter your adult life and attempt to form relationships. Sadly this doesn’t alleviate the constant frustration that some black men feel and having to prove themselves over and over again that they are potentially worthy lifetime partner for single black women.

3.       The Over 40 Collapse:  Sista’s Lookin’ Busted Down

In the Desperate Housewives era white women over the age of 40 are taking care of themselves like never before. These women are taking care of themselves by hitting the gym on a regular basis, making sure their hair and nails are done, they have great looking wardrobes and seem to be conscious of their appearance whenever they’re in public. As a single woman with you step out in public you should look at it as an opportunity to meet your soul mate, and your appearance should be as attractive as possible at all times.

I don’t know what it is but in the last 10 years it seems that middle-age black women don’t take as much pride in their appearance as they did in the past. The hair is not done, the tennis shoes are leaning to the side, there seems to be no desire to maintain a fit and healthy physical form.

4.       Worldly Cluelessness

I’m a grown ass man so when I meet a woman and we go out on a date she needs to be able to hold a conversation that goes beyond the latest celebrity gossip on Concreteloop, Bossip, and Media Takeout.  No brotha wants to go out with a 30 year old woman whose only concern in current events is who Chris Brown is dating.  Chris Brown?  Really?  I’m not asking for you to be a news anchor, but damn be able to engage in some type of stimulating conversation.

Well that’s it for part one and I hope this will spark some lively conversation.  Part II we’ll probably bring a shit storm down on this site…and I can’t wait.

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Three More Entirely Different Stroke Strategies To Bedding Black Single Women

Aug 27, 2011 by Dr. Royce Brothers

It’s your non-professional man of the evening, even though I am working in a professional capacity, hence the name, Royce, but you can call me Doctor. Good evening to all of you brothers and fine gentlemen of other hues that might be interested in the paradisaical bliss that is black single women’s love. As promised I have returned to betroth upon you three more strategies to gain entry into this secret garden that is a black woman’s bed. In my previous article, Three Stroke Strategy to Bedding Single Black Women we discussed (1) catching the black woman’s eye, (2) the gift of gab, and (3) the art of flirtation. Once you have perfected these three key strategies you can move on to the next three important maneuvers.

1.    Once you caught a black woman’s eye, charmed her with your mouth piece, and showed her how interested you are by flirting you can move onto the next step I like to call, the Art of the Woo. Not be confused with the Wu, which consists of the RZA, GZA, Raekwon the Chef, Ghostface Killah, Inspectah Deck, U-God, Masta Killa, the M-E-T-H-O-D Man, and the late Ol’ Dirty Bastard. No, in this instance I’m referring to the Woo, or the ability to seek favor, attention or love from the opposite sex. The Woo is a lost art these days, but to become a quintessential lover of single black women, you have to incorporate it into your play book. The Woo is what will set you apart from any other guy who might be buying for a particular female’s attention. Now I know what you’re thinking, “man do I have to give her flowers and shower her with gifts?” Yes and no. It never hurts to give a woman flowers and if you have an inside track it can be one of the simplest things you can do, but that’s for another article. The Art of the Woo is simpler than that. The Woo can be something small like listening and paying attention to the woman, and letting her now you value what she’s saying. It can also mean making her feel special and like she is the only one that matters when you are with her. This one can be a little tricky, especially if you are one of those brother’s with ADHD or can’t control his gazing eyes. There are several techniques you can use to show her you are listening and paying attention to her. Staring at her forehead is one and nodding to show interest. You can repeat some of the key points in her conversation so that they are easy to remember. This can also come in handy when you are trying to find a special gift for her because women constantly talk about things they like or that they are interested in, giving you clues to things they may fancy.

To show them they are special, show some chivalry. Open the door for them, pull out their chair, or walk on the outside of the sidewalk to prevent her from being splashed by mud or hit by an unyielding vehicle. A great philosopher, Neyo, once proclaimed this was the year of the gentlemen. So show it in your dress and your actions. The most important part of the Woo, is always, always, let her know you are thinking about her. You have so many ways of doing this these days that take little to no time at all; text, Facebook, Twitter, but to take the point home and really wow her, send her a nice card with a little handwritten note inside that expresses that you are thinking of her. The Woo aided by the Wow will get you that much closer to your goal.

2.    The Wow leads me to this next strategy which is trying something new. Women like adventure, intrigue, and suspense. You can’t get this if you are always going to the movies or dinner at the local Japanese Steakhouse where the other hundred miserable couples sit in groups of twelve in front of a hot, roaring flame watching a guy flip shrimp tails in his hat. No, in order to make an impression and stand out from the rest of the pack you have to be extraordinary. How do I do this, you ask. Easy. Find out what type of popular activities are in your area, things you might have considered trying, but have never done. For example, if you live in California take her to get surf instructions at the beach. You can sign up at all type of deal sites like Groupon, LivingSocial, or Bloomspot and get a voucher for surf lessons for two for like $60 bucks. You could turn it into an all day affair, pack a little lunch and spend the day at the beach. This will also give you a chance to check her out in a bikini. If you aren’t fortunate enough to live near water, try a festival, wine tasting, anything that is out of the norm that will wow her and make her feel special because you showed her something new. This will earn you credits in the bank that will add up to that ultimate withdrawal.

3.    After effectively wooing and wowing black single women, and introducing them to things they may have never experienced before in past dates, you have positioned yourself in the area I like to refer to as the front row. Basically, if there were any other guys who she may have had on her radar you have successfully moved them to the back of the line or in the nosebleeds (to keep with the seating analogy) and you are the sole occupier of the number one spot, the front row or first base for all of you Blackjack enthusiasts. This is the perfect time to institute the next strategy, the cold shoulder and surprise. After your adventurous and intriguing date, take some time to reflect and if possible cultivate some other leads, if you are interested in more than one woman. Once she calls, apologize for not calling, say you were busy with work or something, but you have been thinking about her nonstop and would love to get together again. Between the phone call and your next date surprise her with something that you took note of her mentioning during one of your conversations. It could be a copy of a book or a CD, anything that shows you were paying attention, but not something too expensive that would cause her to think you are trying to buy her affections. Have it gift wrapped and give her a quick call to tell her you have something for her, tell her you’re in the area, and you would like to drop it off to her at her job. Flowers could work in this instance, but to show you are a good listener and pay attention to what is special to her, it has to be something personal to really hit home. Showing up to the job also allows you to build allies with her co-workers which will be instrumental in completing your objective. The U.S. never goes to war without some form of allies. Neither should you, when you are on your quest to bed black single women or any other women for that matter.

From this point on, it’s up to you to make your stand (don’t make it be your last like Custer, if I can stick with the military analogies) in the bedroom. These sure fire strategies will definitely get you there, but in order to stay you have to perform well. May I suggest Kegel exercises? For more information and advice keep your ear to the Black Luv Fest grindstone. Cheers!

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Swirling It Up: 8 Reasons Black Women Should Date White Men

Aug 22, 2011 by Dr. Royce Brothers

Brothers, I already know what you’re thinking, “Why and the hell would a brother write an article condoning black women white men relations?” And to that I ask, “Why not?” Hell, the brother’s out there asking it probably have a white woman on their arm at this very moment. Brothers have been dating white women since slavery. Case in point, in the book White Women, Black Men the author Martha Hodes discusses liaisons between Southern white women and black men that occurred before the Civil War. Boxer Jack Johnson was married to a couple of white women and was even arrested for transporting women aka “white women” over state lines in 1912. As you can see, black men have had a long history of having relationships with white women. A good majority of black athletes are either married, dating, or creeping with a white woman or a woman from some other ethnicity. Some of the most militant pro-black brothers you see walking around with locks and braids or dressed to the nines in the latest in African fashions are involved with white women. So why is it a problem when a sister wants to date a white guy? Is it a double-standard? Why is it that the brothers can do it, but when a sister does it there’s a big fuss? Well now is the time that the tide turns. If black men can do it, so can black women, and here are 8 bona fide reasons that black women and white men should become an item.

1. The Down Low

It would cut down on the chances of a sister getting one of those E. Lynn Harris, down-low type of brothers. Homophobia in the black community seems crazy to me because we all have a gay cousin or uncle, you know the one that rather play dolls with your girl cousins than shoot hoops. But because we act so crazy about homosexuality we force our gay brothers to put on these facades that lead to a shroud of deceit that wind up leaving some sister devastated when she walks in on her man in a submission hold with another brother and neither of them are MMA fighters.

2. Taking Care of Her First

Face it, a lot of brothers still live at home with their mothers. This is not a dig (since I am writing this from the confines of my mama’s basement) but a grim reality. Be it fear, oppression, laziness, an absent father or the simple truth that we love our mothers and hate to leave them alone, brothers are used to women taking care of them and because of this forget that a woman needs to be taken care of as well. White men come from the suburbs where everyone tries to live like a TV show based off the 50’s, and because of this may see their role as a provider in a more traditional sense. Therefore, they may be more in tuned with a woman’s need to be cared for.

3. The Intimidation Factor

Black women are graduating from college in record numbers while the dropout rates of black men continue to plummet. Once again, just like item 2, there may be many factors that cause this discrepancy; the rising cost of education, the prison industrial system, systematic oppression and racial bias put on black men in a country built on white supremacy. Regardless of the cause, there is a great void here that may cause feelings of inadequacy and intimidation of black men by an intelligent black woman. Because white men have had continued preferential treatment in the areas of academia and higher education, they may feel less intimidated and more embracing of a highly educated black woman.

4. No More Drama

Less likely to have baby mama drama. Because white men usually come from the suburban environment tailored after the Beaver, they may be less likely to have children by different women (or may have just been more likely to spring for an abortion). Because of this they could have less drama in the form of the proverbial babies-mama. This type of drama is the rats poison to a healthy relationship. The constant confrontation of a babies-mama can cause many a breakup. So if there is a chance that there is no babies-mama in the picture, the better the chance your relationship will blossom.

Theses are just a few reasons why we should all embrace black women white men relationships and the coming together of the races in a virtual blending of America. What’s good for the brother’s should also be good for the sisters. So if we can do it, they should be able to do it as well, without the risk of ridicule. Besides, we have over a couple centuries  head start.

This is just part one or the first 4 of the 8 reasons why black women should date white men. Check back for the second installment with the other 4 reasons why black women should date white men in the days ahead.

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Find Quality Single Black Men In Your Grocer’s Freezer

Aug 20, 2011 by Dr. Royce Brothers

Ladies, I know you think you can find all of the quality single black men at the club, but that is definitely not the case. I’m sure you have met your share of losers there. You know the type. The type of brother that slides up next to you while you are at the table with your girls and whispers some lame line in your ear like, “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” You know the slimy looking brother with the tarnished gold tooth in the center of his raggedy mouth. The type of brother that buys you a bottom-shelf drink and thinks you’re going home with him.

Well if you are sick and tired of meeting these types of trifling brothers that pack the clubs every weekend, then maybe you should try something different. Now I know you might think I’m going to suggest you go to one these “networking” parties or mixers like First Friday or Second Tuesday or Third Saturday, but you’re wrong. These types of functions are billed as professional networking events that can be used to meet and socialize with prospective business contacts, but in reality, they are merely a means for the group of guys who organize these events to make money and meet woman.  You will more than likely find that same trifling brother with the tarnished gold tooth that was harassing you at the club is part of this group of guys who organized your local First Friday event.

No the place I’m going to suggest you go to meet quality single black men is a place you already attend regularly. You may go every two weeks or as little as once a month, but it is a place that we are all pretty familiar with and is in close proximity to our homes or apartments. The place I’m referring to his your local neighborhood grocer. The supermarket, the grocery store, Whole Foods, Trader Joes, whatever you want to call it. I know what you’re thinking, “this brother’s crazy!” But pause. Take a minute to mull it over.  Consider this, if a brother is shopping in a grocery store nine times out of ten he must have his own place, right? He’s already got your buddy with the witty one liners beat. You can tell by the types of items he has in his cart if he can cook. If you peek in his cart and all you see are frozen pizzas and bags of Lays then he probably doesn’t practice the culinary arts.  Finally, if he is grocery shopping and has his own place then that means he must have a job or some type of incoming. You can also make one other assumption by the type of items he has in his cart. Depending on the  food he buys you can tell if he is well to do or if he is just getting by. For instance, if you notice he has things like steaks or shrimp or even name brand cereal than you can deduce that he is probably sitting pretty comfortably to afford such luxurious food stuffs.

So whenever you get tired of that same club scene and wish to find quality single black men, bypass the club and make a bee-line to your local supermarket. You won’t regret it.

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Black Singles, Black Dating, Leave Baggage At The Gate

Aug 18, 2011 by Black Statham

Black dating has become incredibly difficult over the last 15 years.  Black singles find themselves fighting to find meaningful relationships with the opposite sex, by and large failing without any clue or insight as to why they find themselves perpetually alone.   As African Americans lives in the US improve year after year in aspects of education and career opportunities, so on and so forth, the romantic disconnect seems only to increase when it comes to black love.

Exploring Why Black Singles Have Such a Difficult Time with Black Dating

Sociologists and psychologists would point to many different factors in relation to the failure rate of black relationships, especially when many of us are doing so well in other areas of our lives. One thing that we see as we look at the failure of socialization, that members of both sexes seem to be lacking point to an ever-growing wall of white noise. As we often spend more time at work, sitting at a desk behind a computer, we begin to create a person who almost isn’t real hidden behind profiles in vacation pictures a surrogates for true selves.

Not only have we built this wall, we begin to live vicariously through the lives that we think other people have, whether celebrities or the friend from high school you haven’t seen in years, and perceived that their happy existence is what we are owed. So with all this noise in the background it’s no wonder a lot of people are confused as to how they should interact with someone in a social setting of the opposite sex.

Black Singles Bring Too Much Baggage with Regards to Black Dating

This is where things get really tricky as most Black singles seem to be naturally defensive upon meeting someone new of the opposite sex. Let’s take single black women for example, who not only seem to carry the wounds of their own past relationships but those of every ancestor, best friend, and best friend’s cousin with them into a new relationship. This results in a latent hostility that soon turns and content for any blackmail was a reminder of a past love who has slighted them in some way shape or form. Every new relationship is built on earning trust, but there are times where black women into rental relationship with a bias towards this trust that can never be overcome no matter how genuine, kind, and caring their potential new partner maybe.

Likewise single black man enter into relationship with their own level of baggage, both real and imagined that is a major hindrance when it comes to relationships and black dating. First real issue is maturation, as both genders have grown up in this digital entertainment age men in particular often fail to realize where fantasy goals and end, the need to move forwards towards adult goals should start. Seriously, no women who take yourself seriously really wants to date a 35-year-old man releasing his second mix tape is budding rap career. Sad to say many single black men had no idea how to do the right thing, and when to do the right thing. And this encompasses everything from social graces to appropriate dress depending on the occasion.

So welcome to Black Love Fest, enjoy our site as we explore black dating, and black love offering candid views, insights, and advice. It’s a new day with plenty of progress to be made and strong romantic relationships have always been a cornerstone of black people’s advancement globally. By taking a hard look at how we interact with the opposite sex, we can strengthen that cornerstone and find happiness and love and our beautiful black men and women.

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Three Stroke Strategy To Bedding Single Black Women

Aug 17, 2011 by Dr. Royce Brothers

I know what you’re thinking he must think he’s some type of gigolo writing an article about getting single black women into bed. Well, not exactly. See I’m no high-class male escort renting himself out to woman for a fee. What I am is a man who has had plenty of practice delving into the vast psyche of the American black woman.  In my extensive study I’ve found out several key strategies that one must follow to achieve the ultimate goal of bedding a beautiful black woman.

1.      First, you must catch her eye. Nine times out of ten if you can catch a black woman’s eye and engage her, then you have a pretty good chance of making it to first base. You might think catching a black woman’s eye wouldn’t be that complicated, but it requires a certain swagger or je ne sais qua when making a first impression. When I say swagger, you might automatically think I am referring to a certain street disposition, and in some cases it may mean just that, but here swagger simply means you carry yourself in a confident manner and have a style and uprightness to you that demands attention. This can be achieved in several different ways.

The clothing you wear have to suit your personal style. They do not have to be trendy or a fad, but they should be stylish and fashionable in a way that makes you stand out. You must appear clean and well groomed, and your scent must be appealing, without being overwhelming. The number one key to catching the eye is something many men seem to overlook and because of that leads to their failure. The end all be all of catching the eyes of beautiful single black women are your shoes.  You can be well dressed, clean as the board of health, and smell like a Greek god, but if you have a pair of beat up sneakers or turned over dress shoes you will receive no second glance. You have to complete the ensemble with a fresh pair of something adorning you feet.

2.       The second key strategy is the gift of gab. The ability to hurl verbal jabs is a major component when it comes to impressing black woman. Your conversation must be, I repeat, MUST BE on point. Familiarize yourself with various magazines such as Essence and Ebony and some of the topics of discussion in these magazines. Also become aware of some of the popular books single black women are reading such as books by authors like Zane, Carl Weber, and Eric Jerome Dickey. You can also peruse various book club sites for a list of books as well as the Essence book list.

3.       Now that you have caught their eye and engaged them with your knowledge of all things Zane, you can begin the third key strategy, the art of flirtation. Black women are a little more laid back than women from other ethnicity groups so you flirtation must be subtle yet direct without being overly crude. Be sure to compliment her often about her hair, her smile, her eyes, and if you feel she is warming up to you gently touch her hand or shoulders to let her know that you are attracted to her and would like to get to know her better.

This is just the first three strategies to help you reach your ultimate goal of getting single black women into bed. Check back regularly for the other key strategies.

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